Jungian Compatibility  » ESTJ Compatibility


These two are opposites (no preferences in common). It takes two incredibly mature people who respect each other's differences and are willing to grow as individuals to make this work. 

Historically, marriage counselors will see opposites marry and divorce and interestingly find the same opposite types to marry again (and usually divorce - again).  

There's always a yearning to "complete" one's self with an opposite type, but it doesn't do so without a long series of painful reckonings. Intimate relationships need some common grounds for expression.

Have your crushes on each other, (and you will have them), but we suggest that you don't take it any further unless Birth Order or Astrological Harmony (DupleDynes) indicates otherwise.

Positives of an INFP-ESTJ Relationship:

Complementary Strengths: INFPs are imaginative and idealistic, often bringing a sense of wonder and creativity to their relationships. On the other hand, ESTJs are practical, organized, and grounded in reality, offering a counterbalance to the INFP's dreamy nature.

Mutual Respect: While they have different approaches, both types can come to respect and appreciate the other's viewpoint, leading to personal growth and a diverse range of shared experiences.

Balance of Action and Reflection: ESTJs are action-oriented, preferring to deal with problems head-on. INFPs, in contrast, are reflective and introspective, taking time to thoroughly understand issues before making decisions. This balance can be beneficial in problem-solving.

Challenges of an INFP-ESTJ Relationship:

Communication Style: ESTJs are direct and straightforward, while INFPs are more nuanced and sensitive in their communication. This can lead to misunderstandings if not properly managed.

Different Value Systems: INFPs are guided by their personal values and feelings, whereas ESTJs make decisions based on logic and rules. This fundamental difference may lead to conflict if not addressed openly and respectfully.

Future Planning: ESTJs tend to plan for the future and strive for tangible outcomes, while INFPs are more comfortable living in the moment and following where their feelings lead them. This may cause frustration on both sides.

In order for an INFP-ESTJ relationship to work, both parties will need to understand and appreciate each other's differences, and find ways to communicate that honor their respective needs and styles. Remember, each person and relationship is unique, and these personality traits are just one of many factors that contribute to the success of a relationship.


Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.