Red boxing glove denoting discord



This is a match with difficulties that are not easily overcome.

Though they admire each other’s creativity and expansive grasp for abstract thought, the only commonality with this pairing is in the way they notice the world and their passion for discussing theories. Their shared preference for big-picture thinking might not be enough to bridge the gap between them.

These opposites attract for many good reasons: both want to grow as individuals, and there is a mystery and pleasure in discovering each other’s views, needs, and desires.

ENTJ’s are structured and domineering, while INFP’s are laid-back free spirits who abhor authority. ENTJ’s are blunt; INFP’s are highly sensitive to criticism and avoid confrontation.

The ENTJ, being outgoing and focused on logic and efficiency, may find the INFP's introspective nature and emotional depth confusing or even frustrating.

The INFP, being introspective and driven by emotions (F), often needs time alone to recharge and process their feelings. They value deep connections and may find the ENTJ's tendency for rationality and objectivity (T) harsh or uncaring.

ENTJs are goal-oriented, driven, and may find the INFP's idealistic and sometimes impractical approach to life difficult to understand.

Although both are intuitive (N),  The ENTJ's firm decisions (J) can seem controlling or rigid to the more flexible and open-ended INFP (P).

Misunderstandings are common in this pairing due to their starkly different communication styles. The INFP's need for harmony could conflict with the ENTJ's assertive nature, leading to unresolved disputes. Furthermore, the ENTJ's focus on logical reasoning might overlook the INFP's emotional needs, causing hurt feelings.

In short, while some may make it work, the INFP and ENTJ pairing often faces significant challenges that can hinder the development of a long-term romantic relationship. It requires considerable understanding, patience, and effort from both sides to maintain a harmonious bond.

If both people in this pairing are true to their archetype, this match is incompatible for the long haul.

love birds and hearts floating above them

Positives of an INFP-ENTJ Relationship:

Complementary Strengths: ENTJs' decisiveness and leadership can complement INFPs' thoughtful, empathetic nature. The INFP can provide emotional support, while the ENTJ can help the INFP with decision-making and achieving goals.

Growth Opportunities: This relationship offers the chance for mutual growth. ENTJs can learn to consider the emotional impact of their actions, while INFPs can become more assertive and objective.

Depth of Conversation: Both types enjoy discussing abstract ideas and theories. They can stimulate each other intellectually and keep each other engaged in deep conversation.

stormy clouds

Challenges of an INFP-ENTJ Relationship:

Emotional vs. Rational Approach: ENTJs are typically logical and direct, while INFPs are more sensitive and prefer harmony. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts if not properly managed.

Different Priorities: ENTJs focus on efficiency and results, while INFPs are concerned with personal values and the welfare of others. These different priorities may lead to disagreements.

Social Preferences: ENTJs are typically more outgoing and enjoy socializing, while INFPs may prefer quiet and solitude. Balancing these needs may be challenging.

Checklist graphic

To make a relationship between an INFP and an ENTJ work, both parties will need to communicate openly, understand each other's needs and preferences, and be willing to compromise when necessary. Remember, all individuals and relationships are unique, and personality type is just one factor among many that influence a relationship.


photo of Betty Baker

Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.