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Both have strong intellectual interests, are independent thinkers, and are quite creative.

Both have a quiet, self-reflective intensity and can chat together about their varied interests and thoughts for hours.

INFP’s and INTP’s will often feel a sense of safety when they are in this kind of relationship as they have a unique ability to take care of each other.  As introverts, they appreciate each other’s need to recharge their batteries with alone time and are often too happy to give each other this space. 

The main difference is in their preferences for Thinking and Feeling.  Because of their reserved temperament, INFP's and INTP's may believe they are communicating more than they are. INFP’s are private in nature, so when they do express themselves, it can come in outbursts that seem nonsensical to their INTP counterpart.  INTP’s tend to place importance on logic and their blunt delivery tends to hurt INFP’s feelings more than they realize.

Communication is essential to the success of any relationship, especially one in which harmony of lifestyle is valued above all else.

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Positives of an INTP-INFP Relationship:

Shared Introspection: Both INTPs and INFPs are introverted, intuitive, and have a natural propensity towards introspection. This can lead to profound, deep conversations and mutual understanding.

Appreciation for Individuality: Both types cherish individuality and authenticity. They can appreciate and respect each other's unique perspectives and ways of seeing the world.

Flexibility: As Perceiving types, both INTPs and INFPs tend to be adaptable, open-minded, and spontaneous. This can bring a sense of adventure and unpredictability to their relationship.

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Challenges of an INTP-INFP Relationship:

Emotional vs Logical: INTPs prioritize logical reasoning and can struggle to understand INFPs' emotional depth and sensitivity, while INFPs might feel that INTPs are too detached or critical at times.

Communication Styles: INTPs can be direct and blunt, which may unintentionally hurt the sensitive INFP. Conversely, INFPs' tendency to avoid confrontation can lead to unexpressed resentment or misunderstandings.

Future Planning: Both types might struggle with planning for the future or making important decisions, as they tend to focus on the present and dislike restrictions.

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To make a relationship between an INTP and an INFP work, both parties will need to communicate openly, understand each other's needs and preferences, and be willing to compromise when necessary. Remember, all individuals and relationships are unique, and personality type is just one factor among many that influence a relationship.


photo of Betty Baker

Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.