Overall, this pairing offers intriguing possibilities.

There are plenty of reasons why each initially finds the other attractive and intriguing, but their differences are often too great to overcome, even if both are willing to put extraordinary and unnatural effort into daily communication. 

There isn’t enough "glue" to hold you together when considering these metrics alone.

This pairing's success often depends on the individuals' mutual understanding and respect for their differences, and a shared commitment to personal growth.

Both types bring unique strengths to the relationship that can complement and balance each other.

Unless Astrological (DupleDyne) Harmony is above 40, we don't recommend pursuing this match.

Positives of an INFJ-ISTP Relationship:

Balance of Intuition and Sensing: INFJs' intuitive nature paired with ISTPs' practicality can provide a good balance. INFJs often focus on the future, while ISTPs tend to be more present-oriented, creating a blend of perspectives.

Shared Introversion: Both ISTPs and INFJs are introverted, which means they appreciate quiet time and may enjoy spending comfortable silence together.

Mutual Respect for Independence: Both ISTPs and INFJs value their independence. They understand each other's need for personal space, which can help prevent feelings of being smothered or crowded.

Unique Learning Opportunities: The different ways these types process information can lead to enriching learning experiences. ISTPs can help INFJs ground their ideas in practical reality, while INFJs can help ISTPs consider the broader implications and connections between ideas.

Challenges of an INFJ-ISTP Relationship:

Differences in Communication: INFJs prefer deep, meaningful conversations, while ISTPs tend to be more terse and direct. This difference might lead to misunderstandings if not addressed consciously.

Different Approach to Feelings: INFJs tend to explore their emotions deeply, while ISTPs might struggle with expressing their feelings. This difference may lead to miscommunications or feelings of emotional distance.

Planning vs. Spontaneity: INFJs typically like to plan and predict, while ISTPs prefer to keep their options open and be spontaneous. This can cause friction when making decisions together.

Remember, these descriptions are general and may not apply to all INFJ-ISTP relationships. Individuals within each type can vary greatly, and personal growth, life experiences, and maturity also play a significant role in a relationship's success.

Understanding, acceptance, and effective communication are key to harnessing the strengths and overcoming the challenges in these relationships. While the INFJ-ISTP pairing may have its challenges, it can also offer a unique opportunity for growth and mutual understanding.


Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.