a person sitting happily in lotus position


Here is a match worth pursuing, especially if Astrological Harmony is high.

Your complex, intuitive minds work in unison, able to easily grasp each other’s abstract concepts and theories.  You often share a similar sense of absurd or dark humor and the communication is always interesting, useful, to the point, or entertaining.

INFP can teach the INTJ to let go with their feelings, and INTJ can teach the INFP to be more shrewd and down to earth.

It’s important to note that INTJ’s normally despise housework and prefer to avoid it whenever possible; while their minds are continuously active, they can appear sluggish or apathetic toward anything approaching physical labor. While INFP’s are more physically energetic and active than INTJ’s, their standards for tidiness and cleanliness are often lower. INTJ’s love this kind of leniency, but those who use it to justify domestic laziness will do their partnership no favors.

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Positives of an INFP-INTJ Relationship:

Deep Thinking and Mutual Understanding: Both types are introspective, love deep discussion and are interested in understanding themselves and the world around them. This shared trait can foster a strong mutual understanding.

Complementary Strengths: INTJs can provide logical perspectives and help INFPs to think through decisions more objectively. INFPs, on the other hand, can offer emotional insights and help INTJs to be more in touch with their feelings.

Balance of Introversion: Both are introverted types who value and respect each other’s needs for time and space. This can foster a peaceful relationship environment.

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Challenges of an INFP-INTJ Relationship:

Emotional Communication: INTJs can sometimes struggle to express their feelings, which can make INFPs feel insecure or unloved. INFPs should understand that INTJs show their love in different ways.

Different Decision-Making Processes: INTJs use logic and rational thinking to make decisions, while INFPs base their decisions more on feelings and personal values. This can lead to disagreements if not managed well.

Planning vs. Spontaneity: INTJs prefer to have a plan and structure, while INFPs are more spontaneous and flexible. This difference needs to be understood and respected.

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To make a relationship between an INFP and an INTJ work, both parties will need to communicate openly, understand each other's needs and preferences, and be willing to compromise when necessary. Remember, all individuals and relationships are unique, and personality type is just one factor among many that influence a relationship.


photo of Betty Baker

Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.