Think in verbs
Each planet has a sort of job in a relationship, and it helps to give it a verb. The Sun lights up. The Moon soothes, or needs soothing. Mercury explains. Venus appreciates. Mars pushes. Jupiter encourages. Saturn steadies, or restrains. Uranus surprises. Neptune idealizes. Pluto digs.
Now read an aspect as a sentence, with your planet on one side and theirs on the other. “Your Mars pushes their Moon.” “Their Saturn steadies your Mercury.” It’s clumsy, but you’ll get a clear picture of who’s doing what to whom very quickly. It also makes clear why these aspects go two ways: your Venus on their Mars isn’t the same as your Mars on their Venus, and you may have one and not the other.
The angle sets the tone
The planets tell you what’s going on, and the aspect tells you how it tends to feel.
- Conjunction. The two blend, for better or worse. There’s not much distance between them, so each may struggle to tell where their own part ends.
- Sextile. Friendly, a bit lazy. You have to take it up, and it rewards anyone who does.
- Square. You can’t both have it your way at once. There’s friction, and friction gets things moving if you use it.
- Trine. It simply works, and that’s why nobody notices it or thanks it.
- Opposition. You face each other. Each has what the other lacks, and you may swing from fascination to tug-of-war.
The app labels trines and sextiles harmonious and squares challenging, and it counts conjunctions and oppositions as neither. See harmonious, challenging and dynamic aspects.
Five patterns to look for
The caretaker pattern. Lots of contacts to one person’s Moon from the other’s Saturn or Sun. One tends to hold things together while the other gets looked after. It’s lovely until the holder gets tired or the held wants to grow up.
The spark pattern. Mars and Venus or Mars and Sun contacts, often with Uranus around. You’ve got a lot of energy together, and you’ll want to check what else is there when the energy dips.
The best friends pattern. Mercury contacts in all directions and some Jupiter. You never run out of talk. You may need to work on the romance on purpose.
The push and pull pattern. Squares and oppositions between the same few planets. You keep having one argument in different costumes. Naming that one argument is half the work.
The serious pattern. Saturn contacts from both sides. Each treats the other as a real responsibility. It tends to feel solid, and sometimes heavy, so you may want to book some fun.
You’ll probably see two or three of these at once. That’s normal, and it’s where the interesting reading happens.
Look at how power moves
Synastry can show who tends to feel they have more say, and it’s worth reading it from both chairs. A person whose outer planets land on the other’s Sun or Moon may have a large effect on them, sometimes without knowing. The person on the receiving side feels changed or pressured and may not know why. If it all runs one way, ask whether both of you are getting a turn at setting the direction.
This is only a way of looking for what to talk about. The chart can’t tell you who holds power in your relationship. What happens in the actual relationship can, and if someone is controlling or frightening you, that’s what to trust, whatever the aspects say.
Turning it into a conversation
Pick one aspect that rings true, read it to the other person, and ask, “Does that sound like us?” Most people find they’d rather talk about “this square” than about their faults. Ask where it helped lately and where it got in the way.
MatchMachine ranks your aspects from strongest to weakest and groups them by area, so you don’t have to work out where to begin. If you’re reading a chart yourself, you can follow the order in how to read a synastry chart. The personal combination is what the app’s reports are for. These pages will give you the language.