Pursuit with a flourish
When you want someone, you tend to make it an event. There’s warmth in your approach, some showmanship and often real generosity. You want the other person to feel they’ve been picked out from the crowd, and you’d like to feel the same. Being admired is a real turn-on here, and so is someone who’s confident enough to enjoy your attention without shrinking. Playfulness matters. Fun and desire are close relatives for you, and you may keep flirting with the same person for decades.
You also like to win. Tennis, karaoke, an argument over who cooks the better eggs: you play hard and you don’t give up easily.
When your pride takes the hit
Most of your fights have an injured ego somewhere at the bottom. A joke about you in front of friends, a plan made without asking you, the feeling of being taken for granted: any of these can set off a grand scene or a chilly dignity. You may hold on to it too, waiting for an apology that you feel you’re owed.
Bossiness creeps in as well. You’ve got a clear picture of how the evening should go, and you might direct everyone into it without realizing. It’s a generous impulse with a controlling side effect.
Try asking what’s really stung. “I felt small when you said that” takes about a tenth of the energy of a full performance, and gets you what you actually wanted, which was to matter. Apologizing first doesn’t lose you any standing. It’s pretty impressive when it’s done well, and people tend to remember it.
Bringing out their best
Praise what’s real and praise it specifically. Challenge them to something fun, and be a good sport whichever way it goes. Don’t use public embarrassment to make a point, because you won’t get anywhere. And don’t confuse a big personality with a right to run yours: being adored is a lovely thing to want, and it doesn’t entitle anyone to say how you should live.