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ISTP + ENFJ

Red boxing glove

ISTP + ENFJ

These two are opposites (no preferences in common). It takes two incredibly mature people who respect each other's differences and are willing to grow as individuals to make this work. 

Historically, marriage counselors will see opposites marry and divorce and interestingly find the same opposite types to marry again (and usually divorce - again).  

There's always a yearning to "complete" one's self with an opposite type, but it doesn't do so without a long series of painful reckonings. Intimate relationships need some common grounds for expression.

Have your crushes on each other, (and you will have them), but we suggest that you don't take it any further unless Birth Order or Astrological Harmony (DupleDynes) indicates otherwise.

love birds

Positives of an ENFJ-ISTP Relationship:

Complementary Strengths: ENFJs are naturally warm, empathetic, and enthusiastic, traits that can balance out the more reserved and pragmatic nature of the ISTP.

Mutual Growth: ISTPs can learn to express their feelings more openly and improve their communication skills, while ENFJs can benefit from the ISTP's practicality and analytical skills.

Shared Interest in Action: Both types tend to enjoy being active and practical, though in different ways. This can form a common ground for shared activities and interests.

stormy clouds

Challenges of an ENFJ-ISTP Relationship:

Communication Gap: ENFJs' need for open communication and emotional connection may clash with ISTPs' tendency to keep their feelings to themselves.

Differing Social Needs: ENFJs are often sociable and enjoy engaging with others, while ISTPs typically prefer more alone time. This difference in social needs can lead to misunderstandings.

Future Planning: ENFJs tend to plan for the future and have a clear vision for their path, while ISTPs are more likely to take things day by day. This can cause conflict if not addressed and reconciled.

a checklist

Understanding and adapting to these differences can lead to a successful ENFJ and ISTP partnership. Open communication, patience, and mutual respect are key in navigating these challenges and leveraging the strengths of each personality type.

 

Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.

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