boxing glove denoting discord


This is not a great match, even though they share three of the four preferences. 

There’s too little psychological distance between these two.  Despite that they have different energy levels and needs for social stimuli, these two tend to feel like they are all over each other (in a wrong way.)

Unless there’s a burning desire here, or if Astrological Harmony is above 40, we don't recommend this match.

love birds and hearts floating above them

Positives of an ISTP-ESTP Relationship:

Enjoyment of the Present Moment: Both ISTPs and ESTPs live in the present and enjoy new experiences. They value the freedom to explore and can find mutual enjoyment in shared activities and adventures.

Practical Problem Solvers: Both types are highly practical and good at solving problems. They are likely to find a shared language in this area, helping each other to find innovative solutions to real-life problems.

Direct Communication: ISTPs and ESTPs are straightforward communicators who appreciate honesty and simplicity. This can lead to clear and effective communication in their relationship.

Respect for Independence: Both ISTPs and ESTPs value their independence and personal space. Their mutual understanding of this need can foster a strong sense of respect and trust between them.

 stormy clouds

Challenges of an ISTP-ESTP Relationship:

Dealing with Emotions: Both ISTPs and ESTPs might struggle with understanding and expressing emotions, which can lead to misunderstandings or suppressed feelings in the relationship.

Different Social Needs: ESTPs are typically more extroverted and social than ISTPs. They might need to find a balance that allows the ESTP to socialize while giving the ISTP the alone time they need.

Risk-Taking Versus Caution: ESTPs are known for their love of risk and excitement, while ISTPs might prefer a more cautious approach. They need to respect and accommodate each other's comfort levels.

Long-Term Planning: Both types tend to focus on the present and may neglect long-term planning. They might need to consciously work on this aspect of their life together.

 Checklist graphic

Remember, these descriptions are general and may not apply to all ISTP-ESTP relationships. Individuals within each personality type can vary greatly, and personal growth, life experiences, and maturity play a significant role in the success of any relationship.

Understanding, acceptance, and effective communication are keys to harnessing the strengths and overcoming the challenges in these relationships.


photo of Betty Baker

Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for youth, from pre-K to 12th grade.