9w8: The Referee



Enneagram System  » Enneagram Wings

A Deep Dive into 9w8

"The Referee"

Strengths, Weaknesses, Desires,

Compatibility & Love Languages

a confident women contemplating

The Enneagram 9w8 type, also known as

"The Referee", is a unique blend of traits from the Nine and Eight types.

This personality type seeks peace, harmony, and are generally relaxed, but with the influence of the Eight-wing, they also demonstrate a level of assertiveness and a readiness to confront conflicts when necessary.

Strengths and Weaknesses

The Enneagram Type 9 with an 8 wing (9w8) has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses that may be typically found within individuals of this type. However, it's important to remember that the manifestation of these traits can vary greatly depending on the individual's level of self-awareness, personal development, and the healthiness of their psychological state.

9w8 Strengths

  • Assertiveness: 9w8s are able to assert their will and maintain their personal boundaries while preserving harmony, thanks to the influence of their Eight-wing.
  • Peacemaking Skills: They are natural peacemakers who can maintain stability and mediate conflicts.
  • Practical and Realistic: 9w8 individuals tend to be practical and realistic, efficiently tackling problems and taking action when necessary.
  • Tolerance and Acceptance: They are accepting and tolerant of others, understanding different perspectives and fostering inclusivity.


9w8 Weaknesses

  • Aggressiveness: While Type 9 generally seeks to avoid conflict, the influence of the 8 wing can make them more assertive, possibly even aggressive at times. This can lead to conflicts, especially if their actions are driven by unconscious anger.

  • Stubbornness: 9w8 individuals can be quite stubborn, and the 8 wing might increase their resistance to external influence, especially when they feel their peace and comfort are under threat. This can make compromise and collaboration challenging.

  • Difficulty Accepting Criticism: The influence of the 8 wing can also make it harder for them to accept criticism or admit to mistakes. This might be due to a desire to appear strong or avoid showing vulnerability.

  • Overwhelm and Burnout: If the 9w8's desire for peace is combined with the 8 wing's push towards action and control, it can lead to periods of high stress, followed by burnout.

Understanding these traits can help 9w8s in their journey of self-discovery and improvement. They can utilize their strengths and work on their weaknesses to create a more balanced and healthier personality.

9w8 Basic Desires and Fears

The primary desire of a 9w8 is peace and serenity, similar to the core Nine, but with a different twist. They yearn for a harmonious existence that also allows for their autonomy and control, creating a space where they can express their strength and assertiveness without disturbing their peace.

The 8 wing in 9w8 adds an element of desire for control and autonomy. 9w8s want peace but they also want to be in control of their lives and surroundings, allowing them to maintain their peace on their own terms.

The fundamental fear of a 9w8 personality type is the fear of conflict, loss of control, and loss of autonomy. They are afraid of being affected by external disruptions that might disturb their peace. They are also fearful of losing control over their lives and their environment.

The 8 wing brings a fear of being controlled or manipulated by others. A 9w8 might have a deep-seated fear of losing their autonomy or being at the mercy of others, which can disrupt their sense of peace and control.

Understanding these basic desires and fears of the 9w8 personality type can offer valuable insights into their motivations, behaviors, and interactions with the world. It serves as a foundation for personal growth and improved self-understanding. 

Our Top 5 Compatibility

recommendations for 9w8's

Remember, these recommendations are general and based on typical type characteristics. Real life is more complex, with personal growth, mutual respect, communication skills, shared interests, and emotional maturity playing significant roles in any successful relationship. Compatibility can certainly exist between any types of the Enneagram.

Type 8w9 (The Bear): Both types share a common connection with type 8, they can understand each other's need for control and autonomy, forming a strong bond.

Type 3w2 (The Charmer): The 3w2's ambition and drive can resonate with the assertive and independent 9w8. Their shared action-oriented approach can make for a dynamic partnership.

Type 7w8 (The Enthusiast): The lively and spontaneous 7w8 can bring excitement and variety to the 9w8's life, while the 9w8 can offer a grounding presence to the 7w8.

Type 5w6 (The Problem Solver): The intellectual and introspective 5w6 can provide the 9w8 with depth and understanding, while the 9w8 can offer the 5w6 comfort and stability.

Type 9w1 (The Dreamer): Even though they share the primary type, the difference in wings brings a balance to the relationship. The 9w1's calm and peaceful approach can soften the 9w8's assertive nature, while the 9w8 can encourage the 9w1 to be more assertive and independent.


9w8's Love Languages

Love Languages are unique ways in which individuals express and receive love. They help us understand how we connect on an emotional level and they can greatly influence our interpersonal relationships.

The concept encompasses five main categories: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

By understanding these languages, we can communicate love more effectively and create stronger bonds with those around us.

Derived from common characteristics and tendencies typically associated with 9w8s, here are the top 3 love languages that likely resonate with a person having Enneagram Type 9w8.


Acts of Service

Acts of Service are very meaningful to the 9w8 Enneagram Type.

Since 9w8s are self-reliant and value their autonomy, they appreciate it when their loved ones offer practical help and support.

These acts of service demonstrate a deep understanding and respect for their needs and can greatly enhance the relationship.


Quality Time

Quality Time also resonates with 9w8 individuals. They value meaningful and engaging interactions with their loved ones.

Spending undivided, quality time together, where they can share experiences and create memories, is very important to them.

This shows them that their relationships are a priority, which can foster deeper connections.


Physical Touch

Physical Touch is also important to the 9w8 Enneagram Type.

Physical expressions of affection such as hugs, holding hands, or a gentle touch can provide a sense of comfort and security to them.

These physical gestures can help them feel loved and valued in their relationships, strengthening their emotional bonds.  


Famous People with 9w8 Personality

Famous 9w8 personalities include Barack Obama, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Princess Diana, Morgan Freeman, Tom Hanks, Jeff Bridges, Keanu Reeves, Bruce Springsteen, reflecting the practical, creative, and assertive qualities of this personality type.


Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.